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Friday, December 18, 2009

Homero's Bad Mood

My husband has had a hard couple of days.

He was in Atlanta visiting his brother for a week or so, and the work really piled up while he was gone. The washing machine broke, the furnace broke, and a bunch of people's cars broke and they called him about it. The minute he got home, he had several day's worth of work waiting for him.

I didn't make life any easier for him by lining up several jobs for him myself. Besides the washing machine, there were fences that needed urgent repair (escaping goats again!) and the pigpen to repair for the piglet I bought, which was being held on the farm until he could go get it. Oh yeah and I ordered hay which he would need to load, unload, and stack.

It was just bad luck that his flight was several hours late and he didn't actually get home until three in the morning. He started off at a sleep-deprived disadvantage.

First he tacked down the lower edge of the field fencing all along the back side of the property by cutting three foot lengths of re-bar and bending the ends into hooks, then pounding them into the ground, catching the bottom edge of the fence under the hook. This prevents the goats from pushing under the fence. It took about twenty-five lengths of re-bar. He was trashed that evening.

Yesterday he went to get the piglet. I told him to take the pick-up truck and the dog crate and put the pig in the back, but he said he would take the beetle because the truck uses too much gas. I said "are you sure? The dog crate won't fit in the bug. That doesn't seem like a great idea."

"Sure, I'll use the little wire chicken cage. The piglet is small enough to fit in there."

When Homero returned from that little errand, his bad mood was firmly entrenched. The pig had spent the whole fifty-mile drive shitting and squealing a foot or so from Homero's ears and nose. Did I mention that one of the many jobs that hasn't gotten done yet is fixing the electric system in the bug? The windows don't roll down.

A good wife would never say "I told you so." Do you know any wife that good? I sure don't.

But the pig was not done contributing to my husband's evil state of mind. This morning we found that he had escaped the pen. The wire was all squished down in one corner and he is still small enough to squeeze between the boards. He was out and he had to be caught.

If I had a video of what transpired in my back field this morning, I could get filthy rich, but I'd probably also have to get divorced. Homero chased the pig all over the muddy field with a giant net on a six-foot pole. After several near-misses, he finally managed to snare the pig long enough to throw himself down on top of it and wrestle it back into the jimmy-rigged pigpen.
The pig promptly went to sleep and Homero promptly took a long hot shower.

And there's more. Later on this evening, he's going to help butcher three goats. I need to do something nice for this man. Soon.


47 comments:

AnyEdge said...

Poor bastard.

Aimee said...

Homero, the pig, or the goats?

Olive said...

Did any one warn you when you decided to keep goats that their second name is Houdini? The very reason that we dont have them any more is because they ALWAYS find a way to escape !!(and do damage to neighbours property)
I know just how your husband felt when collecting the pig. I have had the same experience taking chicks to the market every wednesday for several years. Not quite as loud as a pig, husband takes care of bringing home the piglets. Many years ago he bought a poddy calf and transported it home on the BACK SEAT OF MY CAR with the front right leg tied to the back left leg so that it couldn't get up !! I'm STILL angry about that ! (the car bit, that is)

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Ahh man talk about a rough couple of days.... Yeah you bettter do something nice or you may be fixing your own fence! Lol I know when I try it doesnt work near as well when Kyle does it.. SO I keep sweet talking till he is out there fixing it for me!lol
I get in trouble for hauling goats in my van... The altest was the goat buck visiting.. He wasnt that stinky!....

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The moment you figured out you won, you must immediately yell BINGO, and it should be loud enough for the floor walker to hear. The pot money shall be given to the winner once their winning card is confirmed. Well, in winning or once you know you just won, the most important thing is that you shout the winning word BEFORE the time elapses. If the game proceeds and the next number is mentioned and you failed to shout "Bingo", your winning card is disqualified. Therefore, this is the rule you must know.

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Interestingly, some venues offer special bingo games for kids although some halls don't allow players to have companions while playing. Suppose you bring kids with you, don't let them run around the venue and bother other gamers. They should behave well whilst you play and the game proceeds. Play quietly and don't recite the numbers you desperately want to come off because you'll be much of a disturbance if you do. Decorous playing is expectant of all players, even those who play roulette at casinos. Also, having a valid identification is important because you don't know you might win and need to present credentials.

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