"United we bargain, divided we beg."

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Caprine Incest and Inter-Species Affairs (Oh My!)


Storm Cloud, our handsome herd sire, seems to have impregnated every doe on the farm. None of the three have gone into heat for well over a month now, which means they are knocked up.

Yes, even his own dam. I know - it gives me the heebie-jeebies too, but goats just don't care about incest. I tried to prevent Flopsy from getting pregnant by selling her before breeding season, but nobody wanted her because of her history of mastitis. I think that's silly - her genetics are as good as they ever were (which is great) and she's fully recovered with no recurrence this year. She threw me triplet doelings last spring and she's a good mother, a good milker, and the healthiest doe I have as regards parasites. She also has good feet.

Oh well - next spring I will have some inbred little goatlings jumping around. Real goat breeders use line breeding all the time (usually sire/female offspring crosses rather than dam/male offspring. I don't know why except perhaps because we humans find it marginally less skeevy. The genetics involved should be identical). However, that's no excuse for me. I'm not a breeder trying to concentrate certain genetic traits; I'm a lazy broke homesteader without enough money or muscles to build a good buck pen.

Any offspring of Storm Cloud and Flopsy will simply be marked as a meat animal from the start. I don't care how cute they are. If they're super spotty and adorable we can always tan their little hides and use them for rugs. Or something. I can't sell an inbred animal that might be bred. Of course, I could wether the males and sell them as pets or brush-eaters.

But all those considerations are in the future. Right now I want to tell you about the sweet love between Storm Cloud and Rosie Pony. While the does were in heat, Cloud was naturally distracted, but as soon as he had done his duty by them, he went faithfully back to his first love: Rosie. He follows her everywhere.

He stays by her side most of each and every day. He loves to rub his head against her neck and shoulders and flanks, like a cat rubbing their face on a person. It's absolutely adorable. And really funny. We tease him. "How you gonna get up on that, Cloud? Huh? She's mucha mujer
for you, Cabron."
Nor is that the only inter-species affair going on. Why it's a regular hotbed of beast-on-beast bestiality around here. Poppy is in love with the mammoth jack who lives in the field to the east of us. She flirts with him shamelessly. And - as I was walking the perimeter the other day (slowly and carefully) I saw there is a section of mashed down fence over where they all hang out. I'm worried it might be possible for that jack to tag Poppy right through the fence. Goats and sheep can occasionally do it, and a donkey's pizzle has considerable more reach than a goat's (sorry, cabron, it's true.). If he did manage to get her pregnant, that would be an absolute catastrophe. She's just a yearling, and he's five times her size.

Better make fence repairs. Again.


10 comments:

AnyEdge said...

I've heard that animal females have mechanisms that prevent fetuses (feti?) from getting too big. For example, you can have perfectly viable chihuahua bitches have half great dane pups.

Aimee said...

well that would explain how Rosie managed to give birth to Poppy, who was bigger than her dam by the time she was four months old.

Jennifer said...

Funny post! You have some beautiful animals!

Grandpa said...

I think that's a unique color combination.

My jane doe gave birth but foetus didn't survive - mother's too young, I think

The Idiot Gardener said...

It's a proper shagfest there, isn't it? Half goat, half pony? Buy the lad a box to stand on!

Dea-chan said...

Y'know, I've heard so many jokes about how the farm kids already know the birds and the bees -- but good gods, your farm could be doing fetish porn! You should be charging for that! :-D

Have fun repairing the fence -- 'cause yeah, that wouldn't be fun otherwise.

Karen said...

The genetics may be the same, but the genes from the parents aren't the only things passed on. Mom passes on the larger cell body, including the mitochondria of the egg. Look to your neighbor's mules for an example. A mule is a female horse and a male donkey - the reverse cross produces a markedly different animal (called a hinny) that people have found far less useful. While the extremes aren't as far in line breeding, there is still influence.

John Gray jgsheffield@hotmail.com said...

I have enjoyed trolling through your blog
greetings from wales

Jerry said...

Dirty dirty menagerie!

mountainchicken said...

I laughed out lout multiple times while reading this. You might be able to film some of that inter-species shennanigans for the specialty markets. Lucrative side business?