Near Miss

Does anyone else out there have a husband like this? My husband apparently thinks it's funny to clip two of the goats collars together while he's out doing the chores. Now, I've never seen him do this, or I would have given him what for a long time ago. He did this yesterday morning when he fed the animals before he left for work. Friday nights he spends in the city, doesn't get back until Saturday night. And he forgot to unhook them.

Well of course I fed the animals last night, but I did it a little late, it was already getting dark, and I didn't notice that Django and her baby Valentine were standing unusually close together. They were able to get around well enough that I didn't notice anything strange, hurried as I was. 

This morning was a different story. They were lying down and they didn't get up to eat. That means something is wrong, so I went over to see what. Valentine looked pretty normal, but Django looked terrible. She was looking up with her neck bent at a funny angle and bubbling at the mouth. Just because of how they were positioned (and perhaps slowness on my part), it took me a couple of minutes to see the problem. Django's collar was strangling her, the two collars were wrapped around each other and clipped together. It couldn't have happened by accident. 

I was confused and kind of frightened. Was this some sort of prank by local assholes, the kind who go out cow-tipping? Had somebody been on my property? Could the kids have done this? Rowan, when I asked her, said "this sounds like something papa would do," and so it did.

He freely admitted it when I called him to ask if he had done something so incredibly idiotic. He fell all over himself apologizing, but I am still mad enough to spit tacks. It's a good thing they are both going to be all right, because I don't know how long it would have taken me to forgive him if he had killed my favorite goat with such a stupid pendejada.